Quick decluttering update: Bathroom, coat closet and living room tables CHECK! Next up, my room. DUN DUN DUN! Bedroom closet starting tomorrow. If you don't hear from me in the next few days you may want to send someone in after me... #kidding #notreally (Is that a thing? Do people hash tag in blogs? well I. Just. Did.)
Anyways, time to get down to business. The last few weeks I've set a goal to make Friday my writing day. The 5 yr old is at preschool so its just me and the baby. Usually, sometime in the beginning of the week I start pondering something that I could write about, then jot down some notes through out the week. This week was not that way. I really had no clue what I was going to write about and considered taking the week off. I didn't figure it out until I sat down and opened the computer. Even still, its a jumbled mess in my brain. My thoughts are spider webbing all over the place. I'm just going to try to get it out and hope it makes sense at the end. For you and me both.
I have a story, but I'm going to preface it with telling you about an area I've been growing in. I would say I am a very internal person, and when I'm faced with struggles or conflicts I have a tendency to put them on like clothing. They are mine to handle and take of. I will figure out what to do to make this situation better. In the last year or so I have been learning that they are not just my clothing to wear, my weight to carry. I have a loving and faithful God that will take care of me, if I let him. I have been working on letting go of the reigns when issues arise. Taking a step back and waiting for God, learning I don't have to carry all the weight. God can carry it for me.
This week was a supposed to be a tough week for me. My husband was out of state from Monday morning until Friday night for a work conference. Last week, during our small group meeting with some members of our church I asked for prayer for the week. I was dreading it. With 1 kid in elementary school, 1 in preschool and a 4 month old, who I already shared is not a good sleeper, my husband has been doing the school drop off in the morning. Every morning. That alone was something I was not looking forward to, let alone the solo dinners, baths, bedtime, etc. Props to the single moms who do it by themselves day in and day out. I have no clue how you do it. You're amazing. So I asked for prayer and got much more than I had imagined. They wanted to know what they could do to help. In that moment I really would have loved to say, "I got this! I'll be fine!" but the tears rolling down my face told them other wise. My bottle in which I stuff all my emotions was overflowing. I am not one to share my emotions, or struggles, or really anything that is of any depth. I like to keep things surface level, safe, where there's no crying. I can tell you, in all honesty, that aside from my husband, there is 1 person that I would say really knows me... to the core. When there's problems, I handle it, suck it up and plow through. Having a group of ladies wanting to help me and asking me to give them things they could do was completely terrifying. And wonderful.
So we made a plan. Our group usually meets at my house so a group member that lives close offered to host. My sister also offered to watch the kids for me that night so I could go the the group meeting by myself. Two other group members brought over dinner two nights, and one stayed until after the kids were in bed. She held the baby and talked and prayed though some things with me. Another night 5 ladies came over after the big kids were in bed and we watched a movie. Another group member took the big kids to a movie one afternoon, and out to dinner afterwords. At one point I texted my husband that I was completely over whelmed. In a good way. Since my husband and I are the leaders for our group, we frequently look for ways to make sure the members of our group are cared for and loved. This week they loved and cared for us. It was.... indescribable. And a smack upside the head. I have been learning that I don't have to shoulder the burdens of this life alone and handing the reigns to God, but hes not the only one that can walking with me through these times. By letting my guard down a little and sharing where I am, I had people there without question, ready to walk though this week with me. That's incredible. God placed people in my life and placed us in this church family for a reason and I am standing in the way. I'm not letting people into my world enough to know how to care for me and show me love. I am much better at giving than receiving.
So decluttering. Breaking down walls. Letting people in. That's my jam. #notreally #Imworkingonit
Anyways, time to get down to business. The last few weeks I've set a goal to make Friday my writing day. The 5 yr old is at preschool so its just me and the baby. Usually, sometime in the beginning of the week I start pondering something that I could write about, then jot down some notes through out the week. This week was not that way. I really had no clue what I was going to write about and considered taking the week off. I didn't figure it out until I sat down and opened the computer. Even still, its a jumbled mess in my brain. My thoughts are spider webbing all over the place. I'm just going to try to get it out and hope it makes sense at the end. For you and me both.
I have a story, but I'm going to preface it with telling you about an area I've been growing in. I would say I am a very internal person, and when I'm faced with struggles or conflicts I have a tendency to put them on like clothing. They are mine to handle and take of. I will figure out what to do to make this situation better. In the last year or so I have been learning that they are not just my clothing to wear, my weight to carry. I have a loving and faithful God that will take care of me, if I let him. I have been working on letting go of the reigns when issues arise. Taking a step back and waiting for God, learning I don't have to carry all the weight. God can carry it for me.
This week was a supposed to be a tough week for me. My husband was out of state from Monday morning until Friday night for a work conference. Last week, during our small group meeting with some members of our church I asked for prayer for the week. I was dreading it. With 1 kid in elementary school, 1 in preschool and a 4 month old, who I already shared is not a good sleeper, my husband has been doing the school drop off in the morning. Every morning. That alone was something I was not looking forward to, let alone the solo dinners, baths, bedtime, etc. Props to the single moms who do it by themselves day in and day out. I have no clue how you do it. You're amazing. So I asked for prayer and got much more than I had imagined. They wanted to know what they could do to help. In that moment I really would have loved to say, "I got this! I'll be fine!" but the tears rolling down my face told them other wise. My bottle in which I stuff all my emotions was overflowing. I am not one to share my emotions, or struggles, or really anything that is of any depth. I like to keep things surface level, safe, where there's no crying. I can tell you, in all honesty, that aside from my husband, there is 1 person that I would say really knows me... to the core. When there's problems, I handle it, suck it up and plow through. Having a group of ladies wanting to help me and asking me to give them things they could do was completely terrifying. And wonderful.
So we made a plan. Our group usually meets at my house so a group member that lives close offered to host. My sister also offered to watch the kids for me that night so I could go the the group meeting by myself. Two other group members brought over dinner two nights, and one stayed until after the kids were in bed. She held the baby and talked and prayed though some things with me. Another night 5 ladies came over after the big kids were in bed and we watched a movie. Another group member took the big kids to a movie one afternoon, and out to dinner afterwords. At one point I texted my husband that I was completely over whelmed. In a good way. Since my husband and I are the leaders for our group, we frequently look for ways to make sure the members of our group are cared for and loved. This week they loved and cared for us. It was.... indescribable. And a smack upside the head. I have been learning that I don't have to shoulder the burdens of this life alone and handing the reigns to God, but hes not the only one that can walking with me through these times. By letting my guard down a little and sharing where I am, I had people there without question, ready to walk though this week with me. That's incredible. God placed people in my life and placed us in this church family for a reason and I am standing in the way. I'm not letting people into my world enough to know how to care for me and show me love. I am much better at giving than receiving.
So decluttering. Breaking down walls. Letting people in. That's my jam. #notreally #Imworkingonit
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