This last week as been a week of realization. Its been kind of step-by-step... but it all finally connected and came together Friday morning while I was cleaning the post office. Step 1: Last Friday I had a meeting at job #2(not the post office). In the meeting we were talking about self-betrayal. If you feel you should do something, and you don't do it, you are betraying yourself. You end up feeling guilty about not doing what you feel you should have. This made me realize that I do this a lot. More often then not, I think of things I should be doing, and choose not to do them. For example, instead of doing the dishes yesterday (which I really feel I should have done) I choose to watch a daytime talk show....which did nothing but make me worry about what the teenagers will be like when Gavin and Belle go to high school... Then later that night, as I walked by the sink full of dishes, I felt guilty about not doing the dishes. I was frustrated and in a bad mood about it, and even