Wandering Thoughts

After my post last week I've been doing a lot of reflecting. I had a handful of people tell me not to be so hard on myself. Not just in comments, but private messages and in person.When I was writing my last blog post the thought did cross my mind that people may think that, but I kind of shrugged it off because to me, I was going easy. I think being too hard on myself it what got me into this "mess" (literally and figuratively) in the first place. I decided that maybe I needed to write about it. In a post a couple months ago I shared a piece of my story.  This is a little snip-it from that post . When people asked how I was my go to response was “I'm doing pretty good”. But really, if people could have heard my thoughts they would know how alone and isolated I felt, and how much I thought I was failing at life in general. For a long time I felt like a failure. Nothing specific. Just in general.  I felt like I wasn't good at anything. Eventually I just stop

I have been having this constant stirring to write but not knowing what to say or where to start. I have this tendency to overthink it, to think that I have to have the beginning, middle and end planned out before I even begin.  I want to know what the ending looks like before I start. Now that I think about it, that probably applies to more than just my writing... I'll have to ponder more on that later. Last week I was chatting with a couple ladies in my community group and mentioned this struggle I was having with writing. I got some great advice.... "Write about where you are". I need to put this on my computer screen. I go through these back and forth battles regularly and when I finally sit down and actually think, "whats going on right now" instead of "What can I write about that people could relate to", then the thoughts and words just start to flow. And as I'm typing I work things out and connect the dots. A lot of times I have rearran