Seasons

Its 75 degrees. I am sitting on the deck writing while the toddler naps and the big kids play. Oh, did I mention its February? I think Mother nature is confused about what season we are in.

Speaking of seasons...  Here's what has been on my mind lately. Over three years ago I left my full-time salon job to be a stay-at-home mom. This was something I had wanted since the day I found out I was pregnant with Gavin, my 8 yr old. My husband had just gotten a new position. The bump in pay, combined with cutting childcare expenses, made this dream a reality. I was so excited. But, being a non-confrontational person (really that's an understatement. My natural instincts are to avoid it at all costs), I was DREADING telling my boss. I finally mustered up the courage to tell her I was leaving and she was pretty great about it. However, I don't think she really took me seriously. She told me they would love for me to come back when I got bored. A couple weeks later she made a bet with one of my coworkers that I would only last 4 months before I was bored and wanting to come back. (Not really exchanging money, just a verbal bet) I could easily have been mad about it but to be honest I was kinda thinking the same thing. In my mind, things were going to be so much easier. I had been dreaming of this ideal life where Id be the perfect stay-at-home-craft-making-cookie-baking-dinner-on-the-table-by-5-housekeeping-extraordinaire. I was just going to be a natural. The thought of "what am i going to do all day" did actually cross my mind because I really thought everything would just fall into place.

Fast forward to now. Here's the reality of the situation:

#1 I am NOT a good housekeeper. There I said it. I get easily overwhelmed with all the toys and the laundry and the dishes. When your home all the time there is more of all of those things. I don't really know how there is more laundry, there just is. It started multiplying the minute I took on the SAHM status.

#2 There is no time to be bored. Most days I have way too much on my to do list to even think about accomplishing it all. I've neglected about 5 tasks to sit and type.

#3 I have to force myself to not do things that take away from my SAHM duties. I like distractions from cleaning. I like to go do things out of the house so I don't see the laundry piling up.

#4 I don't think Ive ever had dinner on the table by 5... maybe 6 or 630. Or maybe it's grilled cheese sandwiches at 7 because I just didn't think about dinner until 630.

Going from working full time outside the home to being at home full time, I've been able to look at things from both sides of the spectrum. I was a full time working mom for 5 years. It was hard. The constant scheduling of where the kids were going to be and who was picking them up and the guilt for having other family members take them to do fun things because I couldn't.... I hated hearing SAHM's complain because that was something I wanted more than anything. I had moms tell me things like, "It must be nice to go to work and have a break." For those that desperately want to be at home full-time, going to work isn't a break. I cant tell you the number of times I cried when dropping my kids at daycare. Not because I think its bad or think all moms should be at home. I think working moms are amazing. Its just not what I wanted. It was heartbreaking for me.

 Now, Ive been a SAHM for 3 years. And even though I try not to, I do complain. It is hard. It gets overwhelming, isolating and lonely. Whether you're working at home, outside of the home, or both, Mom life is hard. I think whatever season you are in it is easy to think the grass is greener on the other side. Things would be easier if.... Things will be better when... etc. When I was working full time I had to embrace that season or I would have been miserable. Now, I need to embrace and focus on this season. For me, that means doing what I need to do to help things run smoothly in my home. Limiting distractions from social media and Netflix (still working on that). Not getting myself or my children involved in so many activities that we are running around like chickens with our heads cut off everyday. Prioritizing what is important for our family. For us, that's church activities and our weekly family night. We add other sports and things in there, usually one at a time, but the other two come first. 

What about you? How do you embrace and focus on the season you're in?